Be strong, honey. I love you…

June 17th, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff, timepass Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into  the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers to his wife,  ”Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict - look at his clothes!

He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you.

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates(upset) you. This guy is probably very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he’ll kill us Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To  which the wife responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my  ear.
He told me he was gay(homosexual) , thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom.  so,
Be strong, honey. “I love you,  too”.

   

 

Thought of the day

June 12th, 2008 by Bakar Man in One Liners Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away.

   

 

Arrested for laughing

June 12th, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff, timepass Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing…… She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick’.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

The case was dismissed!  

   

 

Marriage

June 3rd, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff, timepass Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why
are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?” he asks solemnly. “Yes I do” she
replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. “Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?”

“Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. “Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for
20 years?”

“I remember that too” she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have been released today!”

   

 

If Vijay Mallya gets into LPG Gas Distribution!!?

May 6th, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

malya.gif

makya2.jpg

   

 

How people give explanations! !!!!!!!

April 25th, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave Without any notice.
 
When he returned his PL asked for explanation.  The employee said “Sir, my mom died unexpectedly” .
 
The PL let it go at That.  After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time the said his Father died.
Then the PL got changed.
 
After 3 months the same pattern Repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.
After 3 months same thing again… And this time his father died.
 
This Happened repeatedly for 2 years.
At the end, one PL checked his past Records and told him, “I have caught you red handed,
How come in the Past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five Times?”
 
NOW GUESS THE ANSWER… 
  
   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
To which the guy said,
“Sir, my mom died and my father remarried.
Then my father died and my new mom remarried.
Then my mom died and the new Father remarried.
This has been going on and on and on and…”

   

 

Why the British left India?

April 25th, 2008 by Bakar Man in timepass Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

british.JPG

   

 

Best Slogans…

April 24th, 2008 by Bakar Man in timepass Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

# Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free,
pakde gaye to khana free.

# Sign on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

# Sign on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.

# Sign at a barber’s saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
we need your heads to run our business.

# A traffic slogan:
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old

enough - or else they never will be…..

#THE BEST ONE :
Its God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.”
- Indian Armed Forces -

   

 

Secret of happy married life

April 23rd, 2008 by Bakar Man in Gyan Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

Once X asked Y, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”

Y said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there
will be no problems.”

X asked, “Can you explain?”

Y said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We
do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”

Still not convinced, X asked Y “Give me some examples”

Y said,” Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town,
which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc
are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”

X asked, “Then what is your role?”

Y said,” My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether
Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should
retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these”.

   

 

Employee of the month

April 23rd, 2008 by Bakar Man in Cool Stuff Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

employeeofthemonth.jpg

   

 

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